Taste of Our Own Medicine
As I’ve mentioned here before, the standard phrase us call takers have to use when someone enquires how long the ambulance will take is “As soon as possible.” This phrase is churned out for legal reasons and, of course, means nothing at all. If it’s possible, the ambulance might turn up in two minutes, but it might not be possible to send one for another two hours.
So, today we all received a letter entitled “Questions and Answers about the new Agenda For Change payscales”. One of the questions was: “When will I receive my backpay?”
The answer given was “You will receive your backpay as soon as possible after acceptance and assimilation”.
Sounds oddly familiar…
on May 18th, 2006 at 10:45 am
Employers are always a bit naff with regard to bonuses. I have devised a new work ethic:
“When will I be coming into work? As soon as possible…”
“When will I have this job finished? As soon as possible…”
“When am I going home today? As soon as possible.”
Works great.
on May 18th, 2006 at 10:47 am
‘assimilation’
Resistance is as futile as possible.
on May 18th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Dont hold ur breath our lot got thiers about 10 months after implimentation
on May 19th, 2006 at 11:09 am
when the balance sheet says so. at the moment the computer says NO.
on May 25th, 2006 at 10:51 pm
I spent 10 days in Europe recently and every time i heard an ambulance, i thought of you and this blog. Thanks for making me smile!
on June 15th, 2006 at 1:52 am
The whole thing about not being able to say when the ambulance will arrive seems utterly stupid to me. Which I suppose I should expect since it’s a legal problem.
Would it not be possible to say something that would give an indication - such as “it’s really busy tonight” or “it’s quite quiet tonight” to give a caller some idea.
I suppose to explain all the ins and outs of why it might take an unpredictable time is out of the question (you’d never get to another call) but it seems a little heartless to not be able give any indication just because the law is an ass.
on June 15th, 2006 at 10:31 am
I totally agree, and I often break the rules and give the caller a bit of information, especially if it’s a category A and they are panicking. So far I haven’t been caught out.
on September 18th, 2006 at 5:54 pm
Aaaah AFC backpay.. I work in a different sector of the NHS but I’ve been waiting for mine since last April. Bastards owe me nearly 4 grand. We’ve had letters every month since August last year saying “Next month” then “Sorry, we messsed up, definitely this mnth” etc.