Nee Naw


Strange People on the Streets

Posted in Ambulances by Mark Myers on the June 19th, 2006

I was wandering through Hackney at 5.30am on my way to catch a nightbus into work for a 7am start on Sunday morning, wearing my green London Ambulance Service uniform trousers and a plain top. As I strolled past the 24 hour off licence, a young, unkempt looking man jumped out at me. Bearing in mind that Hackney is not the most salubrious of areas, a man jumping out at you at 5.30am is generally a sign of imminent danger. I decided there and then that I would hand over my wallet and prayed that he didn’t have a knife.

The man looked down at my trousers.

“Are you an ambulance?” he asked.

I could have made some wise crack about not having a blue flashing light on my head, but decided it was neither the time nor the place.

“Yes,” I answered, “in a manner of speaking…”

“I got this wart on my hand!” he said, brandishing the offending article about two inches from my nose. “What should I do about it?”

I inched away from the wart. “Erm…” I said. “You should, erm, go to the chemist and get some wart remover?”

“Did you hear that?” the man said to his friend, as if I’d just told him the meaning of life. “He said I can get wart remover from the chemist. Cheers, mate! I’ll do that!”

I said goodbye and went on my way.

18 Responses to 'Strange People on the Streets'

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  1. Batsgirl said,

    on June 19th, 2006 at 2:02 pm

    ah, the wonders of drugs.

  2. Dave M said,

    on June 19th, 2006 at 4:22 pm

    what type of drugs is the question!

  3. tjwood said,

    on June 19th, 2006 at 5:31 pm

    Well at least him meeting you saved a 999 call…

  4. Tom said,

    on June 19th, 2006 at 7:38 pm

    That’s your good deed for the day done anyway! T.

  5. las bod said,

    on June 19th, 2006 at 8:04 pm

    i live in hackney too. I make sure not to be seen out and about wearing anything ambo because it seems to attract all manner of strangers.

  6. Mark Myers said,

    on June 19th, 2006 at 8:54 pm

    I think it was more likely alcohol than drugs…

  7. Dave said,

    on June 19th, 2006 at 9:45 pm

    Its amazing how many people presume everyone in green is an ambulane, when they are obviously white or custard!


  8. on June 19th, 2006 at 10:31 pm

    Ah, yes, the power of the uniform. I know it well.
    Wearing a uniform gives you certain responsibilities, but it also - as in your case - can diffuse the atmosphere in a moment of danger.

    P.S. What on EARTH were you doing in Hackney in anything other than broad daylight, man? Do you have a death wish?!

  9. Mark Myers said,

    on June 19th, 2006 at 11:36 pm

    I live there, it’s rather hard to get to work without passing through. Anyway, it gets light before 5am this time of year!

  10. Craig D said,

    on June 20th, 2006 at 12:18 am

    Hahaha!

    “Are you an ambulance?”

    Fantastic.

    Maybe this is the start of foot patrol ambulance? Similar to police walking the beat?

  11. elfbiter said,

    on June 20th, 2006 at 9:54 am

    Guy’s strange behavior notwithstanding, it may be that some of his “buddies” had claimed it was something much more serious (I’ve seen that happen). So he decided to get an “expert opinion”, so to speak…:-)

  12. Edelee said,

    on June 20th, 2006 at 9:07 pm

    LOL, nutters nutters everywhere! Dont you just love folks who stick their arms out infront of you and go “is this broken?” when its clearly obvious you dont have your x-ray specs on! lol.
    You poor thing tho, I would have been bricking it after, thinking on the what could have beens!

  13. Claire said,

    on June 21st, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    HAHAHA

    I get asked random medical questions by people when they hear I am a midwife. Sometimes quite worrying ones: ‘what shall I do about this’ (man with HUGE lump on hand adn wrist at unhealthy angle, finger turning purple…) me: ‘er- go to A&E?’ Man: ‘oh, ok, I will then’

  14. PJ said,

    on June 22nd, 2006 at 9:01 am

    Should’ve told him to bite it off. In his condition he’d have probably done it and you’d have had a much more amusing tale.

  15. Lola said,

    on June 25th, 2006 at 7:59 am

    Wow, the oddness of people eh, ambushing you for a medical diagnosis, heh.

  16. Rosey said,

    on June 27th, 2006 at 4:43 pm

    I have a (stupid?) question.

    You work in control and therefore answer the calls don’t you? Why do you need to wear a uniform? I assumed that you could wear civvies or at the most smart/casual attire.

    Is there a particular reason for looking like an “amblance”?

    I am sure you could add a flashing blue light to the top of a white baseball cap so you are more prominent next time!

  17. Mark Myers said,

    on June 27th, 2006 at 7:50 pm

    This is a question I have often asked myself. Apparently there are two reasons we have to wear a uniform. The first is because we are occasionally on TV or publicity shots and they like us to look ambulancy. The second is supposedly to give us a sense of oneness with the crews,

    Personally I think it is all a load of rubbish and I think we should be allowed to wear whatever we like, but I don’t make the rules!

    Would love a blue flashing light baseball cap, though…

  18. paul jays said,

    on August 16th, 2006 at 5:19 pm

    luck he did’nt have the wart else where.

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