I don’t like children. However, when it comes to the ordering of ambulances, I wish adults could be more like them. I had a call this morning from a seven year old who had found her mother unconscious (“Very sick! Not moving or talking and she is asleep and I can’t wake her up!”) If this had come from an adult, it would have undoubtably been “Hurry up!” and “*%^&**!?” and “Stop asking me stupid questions!” and “Eww! I’m not touching her!” and “Just send me an ambulance, it doesn’t matter where I live or what’s wrong!” Children, however, always manage to remain calm, answer questions and do as they are told. Why don’t they behave like this in real life?
Nursing homes, on the other hand, make for nightmare calls. No relative of mine will ever find themselves in one of these. Yesterday morning, I had a call from one of them who had found a patient apparently dead. I started to give the CPR instructions, got as far as the bit about tipping the patient’s head back, and there was a loud shriek and an elderly man could be heard shouting “GERROFF!!” I guess he wasn’t dead after all, then.