I don’t like children. However, when it comes to the ordering of ambulances, I wish adults could be more like them. I had a call this morning from a seven year old who had found her mother unconscious (“Very sick! Not moving or talking and she is asleep and I can’t wake her up!”) If this had come from an adult, it would have undoubtably been “Hurry up!” and “*%^&**!?” and “Stop asking me stupid questions!” and “Eww! I’m not touching her!” and “Just send me an ambulance, it doesn’t matter where I live or what’s wrong!” Children, however, always manage to remain calm, answer questions and do as they are told. Why don’t they behave like this in real life?

Nursing homes, on the other hand, make for nightmare calls. No relative of mine will ever find themselves in one of these. Yesterday morning, I had a call from one of them who had found a patient apparently dead. I started to give the CPR instructions, got as far as the bit about tipping the patient’s head back, and there was a loud shriek and an elderly man could be heard shouting “GERROFF!!” I guess he wasn’t dead after all, then.

Published Aug 30, 2005 - 5 Comments and counting

5 Comments on “Miraculous Recovery”
  1. Justaskfirst Says:

    Hey, followed you here from your post to LiveJournal- great stuff. Keep it up!

  2. Ollie Says:

    In the absence of Livejournal, I’m gonna have to spend my time in these waters… so write more!!!

  3. Mary Says:

    One of my coworkers had a call like this one once. It was at a “hospital” in San Francisco. We dispatched paramedics there for a private company. The “doctor” was yelling about needing an ambulance for a patient in full arrest. They were attemping to shock him too save his life. This would have been great if it weren’t for the fact that the patient could be heard in the backgound yelling “ow stop that it hurts”. One thing I always had to remember – you can’t cure stupid!

  4. HG Mc Carthy Says:

    Good one, very funny!

  5. sarah Says:

    hee hee hee, been ages since I had a surprise chuckle like that. My ex-husband once got attacked on a job for trying to give’mouth to mouth’ Once the abulance had arrived the ‘distressed’ husband stepped outside for a smoke and returned to find ‘the ambulance geezer snogging his missus’. Three quick whacks with a golf club soon put a stop to any funny business. I don’t approve of assaulting any body but was funny as hell in the re telling. Mind if you knew my ex you’d have supposed the worst aswell !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Nee Naw
    Nee Naw was a blog about life in the London Ambulance Service control room. It was written by Suzi Brent from 2005 to 2010. The blog is no longer being updated, but the archives will remain here.
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