I’ve had a few suggestions on my last post, and am going to be answering your questions one by one. First up, Miranda asked how one becomes a Nee Naw Worker.
Like with most other jobs, the process started with a bog standard applications form with all the usual questions about how many GCSEs you have and why you want to work for the Nee Naw Service. The LAS recruitment page is fairly non-specific about who can and can’t apply. As far as I know, there are no minimum qualifications (so I needn’t have bothered with that Master’s degree) and no specific experience you need, though I seem to recall that any kind of medical experience like medical coding or health care administration (I worked in a GP surgery for two years and in various very boring medical admin jobs) and any kind of telephone working (I used to work in IT support) were seen as an advantage.
Though there are no formal prerequisites, the following will (in my opinion, which in no way reflects the opinion of the Nee Naw Service) make you a lot more suited to the job:
My application form was (obviously) successful and I was invited back to the Training Department in Bow to do some tests with other Nee Naw Control hopefuls. These were:
A couple of days after the tests, I had to make a nerve-wracking phone call to LAS recruitment from the toilets of the hospital I was working in. Much to my surprise, they told me I’d passed, even the digit test, and I was invited back for the interview proper.
I have to say it was the worst interview of my entire life. Most of the interviews I’d been to in the past went on the lines of “Do you know how to switch the computer on? Well done, you’re hired!” but this was an excrutiating affair that went on for hours. I prefer the sort of questions which you could answer from the top of your head eg. “What would you do if such and such happened…” or “Why do you like ambulances?” but there weren’t any of those, just lots of “Give us an example of when you were in a situation where [something happened]. Tell us about it and how you dealt with it.” One question was “… when someone interrupted a task you were doing to ask you to do something else” and the only example I could think of was something very lame about “I was fixing a computer then someone else asked me to, er, fix their computer and I said the first computer would have to wait because the second one was used for accessing patient records in A+E whereas the first belongs to a secretary”. I didn’t really have much relevant experience so I was plucking examples from university and rubbish temp jobs that had only lasted a couple of weeks. There was also a long lecture about uniform and sickness and how the service is very strict on these. I came over all paranoid and thought they’d been talking to my then-boss, who was constantly chastising me for late arrival and lamenting the fact I’d just had a week off with a wisdom tooth related malady. This wasn’t the case, they say that to everyone.
I don’t know if the interview went better than I thought or if they were just desperate for employees, but I got through, and here I am.
Later, in part 2: Training School!