When an ambulance crew take a critically ill patient to hospital on blue lights, we ring the hospital to warn them. This is called (imaginatively) a ‘blue call’. All the blue call numbers are programmed into our phone system so we only have to dial a couple of digits to get them. The hospital in Romford, however, has just moved so we have to dial the full number to put the blue call in.

T601 were bringing in a man in cardiac arrest, so I dialled the number.

Them: “Hello, can I help you?”
Me: “This is London Ambulance with a priority call.”
Them: “Yes?”
Me: T601 are bringing in a 60 year old male, suspended…
Them: Uh… sorry… I think you have wrong number. This is Chinese Takeaway!”

I was a laughing stock for the rest of the shift. My sector controller insisted on telling everyone who she spoke to, including all the ambulance crews, “watch out for our radio operator today… he tried to blue a patient into the local Chinese!” Everyone thought it was hilarious. My face has never been so red!

Published Mar 28, 2007 -

15 Comments on “One Chow Mein and a Cardiac Arrest Please”
  1. Hazel Says:

    Oh no!

    You are never going to live that one down …

  2. Station Supervisor Says:

    Thanks for this post as I don’t think I’ve actually laughed so hard at a post in ages.

  3. Tom Reynolds Says:

    Superb!

    *Insert uncharitable remark about Romford hospital here*

    We sometimes get people trying to order pizza on our station’s activation phone, so I suppose that it’s fair turnabout.

  4. Petrolhead Says:

    I wonder what the Chinese takeaway guy thought you were going to say - “We need prawn crackers and sweet and sour chicken, stat!!” (I know, that’s American, but hey, it sounds good.)

  5. BabyEMD Says:

    That is absolute legend! Good one ;o)

  6. Robin Says:

    Loved this one!! Do you know how much trouble the new telephone system at Queens has caused? Judging by the letters in the local rag there are lots of wound up people out there who could do with a laugh (and so should read this) but I suspect getting the chinese takeaway instead might just tip them over the edge!

  7. Kate Says:

    Priceless. Wonderful post, but no, you won’t ever live it down.

  8. Pete Says:

    just wait till you get on the road……………….

    ‘know any good chinese’s round here then?’

  9. Mark Says:

    “He has chicken wings and prawn balls…”

  10. zuba Says:

    Sorry, I couldn’t help having a chuckle over that.
    I trust it all ended ok and the old chap didn’t end up as No. 31 with black bean sauce?

  11. Mark Myers Says:

    Well, I think he died, but that was nothing to do with me! I got the right number second time round (saying “we’re bringing you a suspended” with people laughing in the background is not too good, though!)

  12. andrew Says:

    you should havev known it was not Queen’s as they answeerd the phone quick plus it may have been better for the PT if he had gone to the Chinese insted. Queen’s is the nightmare of hospitals

  13. Louise Says:

    Hee hee!! Love it.

    I worked in a residential care home and rang the pharmacy as to enquire where a residents anti biotics were as the lady concerned had a chest infection and was very poorly.

    Thay said that they did not a resident by that name on their list and was she a new resident I said “no” I could hear in the background thhe pharmasist enquiring abou her anti biotics, it was then I twigged I had given the name of a resident that I had died 4 and half years before!

  14. Medic Facility blog on health » Blog Archive » Says:

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  15. Sylvia Says:

    Worked in A&E at W2 for ten years - now moved to another Dept. cos of Agenda for Change - really love your blog. Keep them comin…..

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