My recent entry about seeing my first ’suspended’ - or, to be more accurate, my first dead body - prompted a bit of a discussion (okay, a bit of mudslinging and an argument about grammar) in the comments section. It’s been pointed out that some people, probably including myself, come across as far too eager to experience a ‘juicy’ job such as a resus or serious trauma. To some, it appears that we are almost willing people to die in order to give us the job we want. We are only happy when someone else is suffering.
I don’t see it like that, but I do hold my hand up to being a bit overeager. As a fresh faced trainee at Control all those years ago, I still remember how I anticipated my first ’suspended’ call; on my observation shifts with crews I’ve practically cajoled them to hover round ’suspended’ hotspots in hope of picking up a call. But let’s get this straight: I absolutely, totally and utterly in no way, want *anyone* to die, except very elderly people who go peacefully in their sleep at ‘their time’ with no need for the indignity of a resus attempt. I don’t want anyone to be sick, injured or in pain. Nothing would make me happier than if all medical problems could be wiped off the face of this earth and the ambulance service could close down and turn into a minibus firm giving people free rides to the seaside. But that isn’t realistic, is it? Cardiac arrests happen whether or not I am the one who takes the call. I’m not willing it to happen, but I am willing it to be my turn to take a call when it inevitably does. Arrests aren’t glamorous or pretty, but they are what I am here for — I have been trained to help people do CPR and deal with other serious emergencies. I haven’t been trained to help people with the flu or a broken toe; if those were the people I wanted to help, I wouldn’t be working for the ambulance service. When I go out with a crew, I don’t want to see a suspended because I want to be a hero or because I think it’s exciting — I want to see one because I want to see the crew using their skills, or in the case of the ‘purple plus’, I just want to see what happens next or see with my own eyes the scene I’ve imagined so many times as I’ve listened down the phone.
In the case of that elusive ‘first suspended call’, be it on the phone or in real life, I think part of the reason every ambulance worker appears to look forward to it is so they can have it ‘over and done with’. Dealing with a dead body, an unsuccessful resus, hysterical relatives, etc, has got to be the hardest thing this job brings and the relief of knowing you dealt with it and didn’t crack up or make a mistake is overwhelming.
Being excited by the prospect of a serious call may seem wrong, but compared with the other reactions that we could exhibit, it’s really for the best. Imagine standing over the collapsed body of a relative, only to have the ambulance crew turn up and burst into scared, hysterical tears and run out the room. Or maybe, potter indifferently over the body, cracking jokes as they plug in the defibrillator. Your ‘excited’ ambulance person is excited because this job, your relative, is important to them and they are giving their all hoping to use their skills to make a difference. Yes, they wanted to be there, but don’t think for a minute they are enjoying this.
June 15th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
I must admit, I didn’t read the previous comment thread, but I can’t believe there are people who read this blog who wouldn’t understand your original point.
Hello? Why would anyone want to go into emergency care if they weren’t interested in saving lives? How can you save a life if someone isn’t in danger of losing one?
*Obviously* it has nothing to do with wanting suffering. It has to do with wanting to *alleviate* suffering.
June 15th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
“In the case of that elusive ‘first suspended call’, be it on the phone or in real life, I think part of the reason every ambulance worker appears to look forward to it is so they can have it ‘over and done with’. Dealing with a dead body, an unsuccessful resus, hysterical relatives, etc, has got to be the hardest thing this job brings and the relief of knowing you dealt with it and didn’t crack up or make a mistake is overwhelming”
I have to agree. I been doing this for nearly 3 years all in control, and I have sat and helped others who are going through their first call. It is not easy. My first one was a 79yom who collapsed and unfortunately lived in the middle of the ass end of nowhere where it took the crew 25 mins to respond. Still dead, but that was the first CPR done. I won’t say i don’t like it, cause I do, it’s the reason I do the job, making a difference or trying to. How many people can say they make a difference everyday? Yes people die, it is a fact in what we do. But if helping people through aggressive CPR (as T om Reynolds would put it), telling them how to control bleeding, or even being reassuring to that little old lady who has fallen and is so sorry to waste our time, means I make a difference then I will do this.
I still go out with crews and when I do I hope to see something bad, cause at the end of the day the only way to know if you can handle it, and treat the person with dignity and control yourself is to see it yourself.
I think all service personell do a great job, no matter what service or uniform. And I think that community responders are also good to have, even if they don’t have all the training and skills of an EMT, Paramedic nurse or an EMD.
At the end of the day if you try to make a difference then good for you.
Now to fiind the ever elusive cup of tea and cigarette……………………………
June 16th, 2007 at 1:46 am
Well done, Mark. A perhaps necessary but certainly intelligent and meaningful post. Always goods to know that there are people at the ready who care and are willing to give their all.
June 16th, 2007 at 4:35 am
Well said. Being a Call Taker with the SA Ambulance Service, and a Paramedic student at Flinders University, when I’m on a placement I’m always hoping for ‘that job’, that will let me test my mettle (I think that’s the right word).
Luckily most of my friends are in the medical field (or their partners are) so a few jokes about ‘oh, I killed one last night’ can slide nicely past, although, it’s certainly worth watching the reactions of people that aren’t used to our sadistic kind of humour.
One of the girls from uni got a rather gruesome MVA, and didn’t stop talking about it for a good week, which earned her the nickname ‘gore whore’ at her work (in a newsagent).
I guess it just comes with the job, I overheard one of our Coordinators (dispatchers) a few shifts ago, saying to the police ‘howdy boys, got a cold one for ya’, which, in any other job, I would have been horrified by, but it’s just how people deal with it IMO.
One of my favourite blogs to read is that of Ian Miller, an RN working in the Emergency Department of a hospital in Canberra. He has a fantastic post along the same lines as yours above… http://impactednurse.com/?p=333
-Nick
June 16th, 2007 at 8:58 am
can I put my name down for the seaside trip?
June 16th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Hrm, I too missed the other comments but I’m surprised anyone things you’re a monster.
The NSPCC want to help abused children, ambulance crews want to help unwell people, the RSPCA wants to help unwell animals, MSF want to provide medical cover in poorer parts of the world, etc, etc. They don’t want children to be abused to keep them in employment, people to be injured to keep them amused, animals to be hurt so they can feel better about themselves, or free holidays to healhcare vacuums/poverty stricken parts of the world, etc…
It sounds like some of the original commentators were being a little bit silly, to me.
June 16th, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Well said Mark - totally agree x
June 17th, 2007 at 3:14 am
I’ve been trained in CPR for years and years but it was only this year that I finally got to work a code (day after I got recerted, ironically). When people are looking for a good call it’s not because they want to see someone suffering or to get their adrenaline fix. It’s to see if you can do what you’ve been trained to do.
When I did my first code I wasn’t thinking ‘yippee, I finally get to see something good!’, it was, ‘I hope I can remember to do everything that I’ve been trained to do.’
It’s never about wanting someone else to die so you’re entertained. The majority of my job consists of transferring patients to hospitals and nursing homes, taking vital signs, occasionally giving O2 and filling out a lot of paperwork. When I get a call like a cardiac arrest I am only excited insofar as to see if I can work this scene properly and quickly. Every call is a learning experience.
Besides, caring too much about each call will lead to burnout in about 5 years. Detaching yourself from the human aspect is necessary as a self-preservation technique. It doesn’t mean I’m inhumane but it does mean I can get on with my job without emotions getting in the way.
June 17th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
I did a PhD looking at language abilities after stroke. Stroke happens (though lots of other nice researchers are trying to look at ways of preventing it) and working out what people are good and bad at after strokes can help create better rehab programmes, and I spent three years doing the research. This meant that some of the people I saw towards the end of the time were fit and healthy at the beginning, and since I needed a certain number to complete the project, basically I was sitting around waiting for people to have strokes.
It did feel a bit morbid, but hopefully there was some point to it in the end.
June 18th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Nick Said ‘She couldn’t stop talking about it for a week.
When on duty with SJA we had a rather nasty spinal with the patient inverted in an 8 man sculling boat on the river. It was brought to the river back and we then proceeded to spine board the casualty off the boat.
We all did our job and the patient was transported off to hospital. However, after the ambulance departed, a member broke in to tears and was distressed. She did her part in the incident and didn’t bat an eyelid. When it was all over the shock of what happened set in.
It took us 4 hours of talking through the incident to bring her back to earth and realise that is what happens at duties. She got over the event and never looked back.
We all need to talk through a bad incident with someone who will listen with compassion and understanding. That’s how we all get by with nasty events such as this.
I hope your friend is recovered now and ready for the next one!
Regards
TM
June 18th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
Mark, first I must congratulate you on what has been a very interesting and lively debate! Having not visited your blog for a few weeks I was delighted to find such a juicy (yes ‘juicy’) tale to read plus all the fabulous comments that went along with both this and the original ‘Purple Plus’ post.
It is in my opinion that I believe 90-95% of people have a certain amount of ‘morbid fascination’. How many times have you been stuck in a traffic jam to find that it is actually the accident on the other side of the road that is slowing you down?
It is a fact of life that ‘death will come to us all’ and to be involved in a situation where you may be close to finding out what it may be like someday, surely must get your heart racing a tad!! My hubby is a retained Fire Fighter (I can hear the groans from here from all you ambo’s out there
) and he has yet to experience a ‘purple’ but he too suffers from the want of an ‘exciting’ job. In 8 months his most memorable jobs have been to one house fire, one RTC and one huge fire that kept him busy for about 7 hours in a nearby woodland. Out of those 3 I am sure he would say that the RTC was the most poignant - at the time they managed to free the 17 year old lad believing that he only had a few minor injuries. It wasn’t until the headlines from the local rag read that the chap had died in hospital from massive internal bleeding five days later, that the reality of his job really hit him. And my response? “at least they are breaking you in gently love, at least he wasn’t DOA” The fact is it will happen one day and no doubt when it does I will ask for every tiny detail - be that right or wrong. People who work in any kind of emergency service have my upmost respect. They do their jobs because they want to help people and to save lives - lets face it - it sure ain’t for the pay!!!!
And hopefully one day in the not too distant future that will be me looking for my first elusive ’suspended’. Tell me, am I crazy to want to be a part of all of this???
With much respect
Maz x
PS hope my spelling and grammar were ok
June 18th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
Phew! I got a terrible flaming on the original purple plus thread when a reader misinterpreted my comment and thought I was a glory-seeking defib-happy wannabe hero responder. (But at least she didn’t attack my grammar too).
Mark, thanks for this post, it really captures all the conflicting emotions swirling round. I feel normal again. And understood.
June 19th, 2007 at 2:37 am
Trooper Man: Yeah, she was fine with it all, it certainly helped a bit to discuss it, but we all had to do psych testing before getting into the paramedic degree, so we’re all certified nutters
-Nick
June 22nd, 2007 at 6:28 pm
I completely and utterly agree, and I hope that the person who decided to launch an attack on my grammar in the other thread (how random and off the point!) will read it and actually understand what the POINT is.
If I thought that I would only ever get to deal with normal, routine, things for the rest of my working life, I’d leave the job. What’s the point in knowing how to deal with emergencies, how to decide if someone needs admission to hospital, etc, if I never get to use my skills and spend all day testing wee in a clinic?
June 23rd, 2007 at 3:57 am
You guys are amazing. Thank-you for what you do!
My dad was with the LAS for some time before we moved to Australia in 1990; he’s now with the MAS and has been awarded the Ambulance Service Medal. He’s very modest about it all, but he’s my hero.
Also, thanks for the great blog… love it!
June 23rd, 2007 at 2:27 pm
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June 30th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
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August 5th, 2007 at 9:15 pm
Hi Mark & All
Stumbled across your blog today, and think its great!
I am a First Responder in North Cornwall, and its great to hear other sides to call outs.
We only see snippets of what actually goes on.
I like the way you have explained the ‘looking forward’ to the big shouts.
I am yet to have my first suspended, and am in 2 minds as the whether I want one, but I certainly want something where I can do more than simply administer O2 and monitor life signs.
Will keep an eye on the site, and maybe even start a blog sometime soon!
August 24th, 2007 at 6:07 pm
Hi, I’ve been getting caught up with your blog, and found the comments and posts about your ‘purple plus’ patient very fascinating. This post is a perfect response to it all. If doing calls didn’t excite us, we wouldn’t be here. We want those difficult calls so that we can learn, experience, and become the best providers we can be.
Ellie
August 19th, 2008 at 2:45 am
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