Yesterday, after slaving over a hot application form for weeks and passing an assessment despite not knowing the callsign of the CCV at Waterloo (neither did any one else, including several senior managers), I had an interview for an Allocator position, something I have been after for a long, long time. It’s basically what I am doing now, but with more responsibility (and more money!) It’s still in the thick of the action but higher up the career ladder.

It all went reasonably well except for one question. Imagine the easiest, most basic question you could be asked. Something you probably learned on the first day in training school. I will not print this question as management probably do not want their interview questions published, so let’s pretend for the sake of this entry that it was “What noise does an ambulance siren make?”

“Naw Nee” I said.

“Are you sure?” said Mr Important Boss.

“Absolutely certain,” I said. “Naw Nee”.

“Are you sure? Do you want to that a think about that?” he urged.

Aha, I thought, they are trying to catch me out here, they are testing my confidence in my answer. Well, I will not be fooled. It’s NAW NEE.

Of course once they said “No, it’s not, it’s Nee Naw,” I realised what I’d said and that of course it wasn’t Naw Nee and that I’d even answered the very same question correctly in the assessment. I went back to the control room kicking myself and telling everyone who’d listen what a total moron I was.

This afternoon, one of the managers came to the control room and summoned us out one by one like the grim reaper. Some hopeful faces returned crestfallen. Then it was my turn. I was taken to the major incident room and sat down. I grimaced and prepared myself for the bad news.

“Well done, Mark. You have been successful!” he said.

My jaw actually dropped. My face went like Alexandra Burke’s when she won the X Factor.

“Are you sure?” I said.

I cannot remember what happened next so I hope it was not important. The next thing I knew I was back in the control room, sitting at my desk, trying not to jump up and down with excitement, and suddenly there was a call to a person under a train. Oh my god, I thought, I can’t handle this right now. And then. of course, I did. Because I am an allocator now!

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At risk of making this sound like an Oscar speech, I would just like to thank everyone on my sector for their support over the last few weeks, their patience in listening to me recite the Visions and Values of the LAS and for not getting me sectioned when I was running around shouting “I’m an idiot” yesterday.

There is EVEN MORE good news to follow, but I will leave that for my next entry as I do not wish to overload you with good news. Let’s just say something very big has happened with this blog, and you’re all about to find out who I really am!

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