Address: PIZZA WORLD TAKEAWAY, 200 HIGH STREET, NE20
Diagnosis: CALLER STATES HE IS THE KING OF ENGLAND AND WISHES TO GO TO PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL.
Special Instructions: CALLER WILL WAIT INSIDE PIZZA SHOP AS HAS ORDERED A PIZZA.

From: LONDON AMBULANCE SERVICE
To: METROPOLITAN POLICE SERVICE
Message: PLEASE CAN WE HAVE YOUR ASSISTANCE WITH MALE PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT, POSSIBLY VIOLENT, STATING HE IS KING OF ENGLAND AND WISHING TO BE TRANSPORTED TO PSYCH UNIT.

From: MPS
To: LAS
Message: SORRY, NO POLICE AVAILABLE AT PRESENT. WE ARE ON CHANGEOVER.

From: LAS
To: MPS
Message: NO WORRIES – APPARENTLY PATIENT HAS ORDERED PIZZA WHILE HE WAITS.

From: MPS
To: LAS
Message: NO ANCHOVIES FOR US PLEASE.

Twenty minutes later.

From: LAS
To: MPS
Message: PLEASE CANCEL. PATIENT HAS RUNG BACK STATING PIZZA NOW READY. IS TAKING BUS TO LOCAL HOSPITAL.

From: MPS
To: LAS
Message: WE ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED. OFFICERS WERE HUNGRY AND LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING KING OF ENGLAND.

Published Feb 02, 2009 - 24 Comments and counting

24 Comments on “Communication between the police and ambulance service”
  1. Hazel Says:

    Bwahahaha!

  2. Skippy Says:

    That is very funny! Don’t you just love the MPS?! haha

  3. Rol Says:

    Thanks – I needed a good laugh today. Congrats on the book deal.

  4. Flash Bristow Says:

    Fantastic!

    BTW congrats on the book deal – and I was amused to know you are not Mark but Markette! :D

  5. Steve Says:

    Now if he’s said he was the king of Scotland Id have been there because I’m a big fan of Forest Whitaker.

  6. FightingDevil Says:

    Thanks! I needed that laugh this morning! I would’ve loved to meet the King of Jolly Ol’ England in the pizza shop.

  7. Simon Says:

    How come the police cant attend on changeover? I have the same problem at work. Why cant they send a couple of officers out and brief them later or whatever?

    Not a criticism to the police, but just curious.

  8. Mark Myers Says:

    At changeover there’s always a bit of a dip in performance – it’s the same for us. The reason is that you don’t want to end the crews/officers who are about to finish their shift out, because it’ll make them late off, but the ones who are due to start in ten minutes aren’t ready to leave yet – so you end up holding on to the call unless it’s really urgent. The answer to this problem is staggering shift end times, which I know the ambulance service is trying to do more and more these days.

  9. Communication between the police and ambulance service | No Brainer Profits Says:

    [...] Originally posted here: Communication between the police and ambulance service [...]

  10. Almost American Says:

    Very entertaining – thanks for sharing that!

    Congratulations on the book deal :-)

  11. Petrolhead Says:

    Hehe, gotta love police control!

  12. Jo Says:

    Fantastic – just what I needed to cheer me up this morning!

  13. Jo Says:

    Certainly made oi larf!

  14. Always Tired Says:

    I like the police control down this neck of the woods.

    us: can we have your assistance to a psyc patient who is threatening to cut himself and has a stanley knife.

    them: no units avaliable at the moment, if he attacks your crew call us back and we’ll attend.

    I mean what the hell!

    Although there is one good guy there who always announces themselves as: “Hello ambulance, pigs here”
    makes me smile everytime

  15. Natalie Says:

    Hilarious,and further proof that ambulance workers and police need (and have) a great sense of humour to survive all the craziness at work!

  16. Nickopotamus Says:

    Hahaha! I needed that laugh :)

  17. Andy R’s Blog » Blog Archive » The Blogs What I Read Regularly Says:

    [...] From: MPS To: LAS Message: WE ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED. OFFICERS WERE HUNGRY AND LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING KING OF ENGLAND. Source: NEE NAW [...]

  18. Andy R Says:

    That is very funny :)

  19. Nika Says:

    Hahahahaha! Sure made my day.

    MPS are correct to stay away from the anchovies!

    Keep posting! :)

  20. Jughead Says:

    Probably the funniest post I have read in a while.

    *chuckles*

  21. Driving School Bloke Says:

    Is this for real! Very funny indeed.

  22. Vicky Says:

    haha! That’s brilliant!

  23. HP99 Says:

    The issue with the police is that the entire shift work the same hours, and all start at the same time.
    They do all have the briefing at the same time which is considered important.
    There is also the issue of not having handed over the vehicles yet, so the vehicle might still be out committed somewhere.
    Personally, it would be a good idea to stagger it a bit, but with shifts as small as ours tend to be (ie <6 PC’s) its hard to do much.
    I guess that the “If they attack call back” comment is based on the idea that if the wheel becomes so loose its going to “come off” people can be diverted to a more important job.

    Hants amb seem to be pretty good, but they do seem to be suffering from “no free units” a lot more now which is concerning.

  24. Twitter Trackbacks for Nee Naw - Communication between the police and ambulance service [neenaw.co.uk] on Topsy.com Says:

    [...] Nee Naw - Communication between the police and ambulance service http://www.neenaw.co.uk/index.php/ambulances/294/communication-between-the-police-and-ambulance-service – view page – cached Diagnosis: CALLER STATES HE IS THE KING OF ENGLAND AND WISHES TO GO TO PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL. — From the page [...]

    Nee Naw
    Nee Naw was a blog about life in the London Ambulance Service control room. It was written by Suzi Brent from 2005 to 2010. The blog is no longer being updated, but the archives will remain here.
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