The following are some search terms people used to find my blog on Google.
“sounds of agonal breathing” - I can do a good impression; it’s halfway between a wheeze and a rattle.
“999 idiot” - Is this a reference to me or the people I write about?
“london ambulance 0208″ - I hope whoever googled this found my rant about 020/0208 confusion and never made that mistake again!
“london ambulance noise” - Yup, that’d be “nee naw”. Actually, it’s more like woooowooooo these days.
“giving birth sound effects for mobile phones uk” - Why? Why? How sick can you get?
“vibrator ambulance epileptic” - *wince*
“getting to hospital labour” - NOT in our of our ambulances, please!
“how does ambulance control work?” - Good question!
“up his bum nurse” - No comment.
“london ambulance service entry test” - Perhaps I should tell you about this one day. In my case, it involved reelings of long lists of numbers backwards for a while until my head turned to mush and other such mind boggling exercises.
“london ambulance hems operation room telephone number” - Try “999″!
“how long off work due to ingrown toenail” - Erm, none. Get back there now, skiver!
“given enough time most of the conversations you ache to have are with dead people” - Somewhat surreal, but kind of true…
“magic mushrooms and wimbledon common” - Naughty!
“london bombing what did the ambulance service do?” - What it normally does — treated sick people and took them to hospital!
“smashing cot death” - “Smashing” is not an adjective I’ve heard applied to cot death before…
“vibrator supermarket collapsed” - There’s a lesson in that one…
“miscarriage blog uk” - Sounds like cheerful reading!
“my son had his tonsils out and cannot speak” - Unsurprisingly, after having bits chopped out of their throats, children find themselves somewhat less vocal.
“dc42zpswfgmb30lb” - Pass!
“cpr is it good” - You could say that, yes.
October 31st, 2005 at 11:57 am
Hahahahaa.
Awesome. Just awesome. How did you find that out?
October 31st, 2005 at 12:06 pm
My Very Nice Friend who hosts this blog for me also set me up a stats page which includes google search terms as well as a bunch of other interesting details!
October 31st, 2005 at 12:23 pm
“dc42zpswfgmb30lb”
sounds like something my cat would type…
October 31st, 2005 at 3:15 pm
“given enough time most of the conversations you ache to have are with dead people” is a line from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t know what’s worse - that I know that or that I’m prepared to admit it.
October 31st, 2005 at 3:35 pm
I love looking at the search strings that bring people to our blog - my favourite being “donna dog sex by the pool”.
Loving your work - you’re on my daily reading list.
Please let me know if you find out what happened to the vibrator supermarket. Hehe.
October 31st, 2005 at 6:38 pm
Here’s a link about the vibrator incident in a supermarket.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/05/18/vibrating_knickers/
I remember reading it quite a while ago and being somewhat amused! Imagine what the paramedics that arrived on scene thought
Craig
October 31st, 2005 at 9:38 pm
..and most off my links seem to have the word “sex” or “cam”.
No idea why
October 31st, 2005 at 10:52 pm
personally I just typed in nee naw…. However I did have the advantage of being introduced by a friend.
November 2nd, 2005 at 9:37 pm
Suicidal Squirrels was the best I’ve had on my blog
November 3rd, 2005 at 12:24 am
Dear Mark:
Surprisingly, I did not find your blog through Random… I am a Spanish doctor who works in an ambulance. (Yes, in Spain doctors works in ambulances…). In a few days, I will be in charge of the medical dispatching (yes, in Spain doctors are the dispatchers…). So, I decided to learn something about medical dispatching outside my sunny place. Few seconds after I put “medical dispatch uk” in GOOGLE I was absolutelly amazed with neenaw. You are great¡¡ Please continue¡¡¡
(Of course I will pleased to explain the details of the medical emergencies management in Spain if necessary)
In the meanwhile my little present to the blog, a real call (that I had suffered in my practices period)
Caller: Emergency Service??, I need to talk to a doctor, I gota question
Dispatcher: A doctor is listening you,
…
Me: Good evening, what you need to know??
Caller: Er, er doctor, I would like to know if anal penetration produces pregnancy
Me: Er, er, er, er, no, most of times, but dont forrget to use protection…
Dispatcher: Sir, the sexual information number is xxx-xxx-xxxx
Caller: So, dont, is it? Thanks doctor
November 4th, 2005 at 10:22 am
I’m a first aid guy now. I know you love them so I thought I’d inform you of my Saint John’s Ambulance backed power. Cool hey?
March 15th, 2006 at 11:47 am
Array
January 24th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
I just typed in “is an angrown toe nail comparable to giving birth, painwise” or similar. It is due to an argument with my wife about what is more painful. She told me not to be a baby with the ingrown, I said it’s like giving birth. Still looking for resolution, but meanwhile, found your blog