You called 999 and told us that your friend had been attacked by a group of ten or more youths. He’d been stabbed, you told the call taker, come quickly. He’s lying unconscious in a pool of blood. You weren’t sure if he was breathing, you said.

The call taker you spoke to was new. The adrenaline rose in him as he gave you the instructions. He told you how to maintain your friend’s airway, but you dropped the phone and didn’t come back. His trainer reassured him that he’d done everything right, but he still worried. He’d never taken a call like this before.

Meanwhile, the allocator upstairs looked at your call and took the decision to divert the ambulance from Mrs Jones, age 85, two streets away, who was in the midst of a heart attack, and sent it to your friend instead. She’d have to wait a couple of minutes longer for the second nearest ambulance to reach her. Hopefully those minutes wouldn’t mean the difference between life and death.

HEMS, the air ambulance, was dispatched, with a doctor and a paramedic on board. Did you know it costs HEMS an average of one thousand pounds every time it takes off? HEMS is a charity, so that’s money people have collected in jars, doing bungee jumps, shaving their heads, money given to help people. Because HEMS went to help you, it wasn’t available for poor little Johnny Taylor who was hit by a car ten minutes later on the other side of London, and broke his leg in two places.

As the police, the ambulance crew, the ambulance manager and the HEMS team ran to the spot where you said your friend lay dying, they found nothing. Just a phone box with the handset dangling from the receiver and a rustle in the bushes as you ran away laughing.

Did you feel proud?

Published Sep 09, 2009 - 35 Comments and counting

35 Comments on “Dear Hoaxer”
  1. Flora Gardens Says:

    Only one good side. Some time in the future – hopefully – the boot will be on the other foot. With a great deal of luck he or one of his scrotey mates will be laying there, with a knife in the heart, and the nearest amb will be on a hoax call elsewhere.

  2. Twitted by shezza_t Says:

    [...] This post was Twitted by shezza_t [...]

  3. Dan Lane Says:

    This needs to be on posters all over London!

  4. vicky Says:

    I think uve just wrote next anti-hoax advert!!! Brilliant post!

  5. the badger Says:

    Lets hope the time that one of their fathers/mothers/brothers/sisters etc. need urgent attention from the Ambulance or HEMS that either all crews are out on hoax calls or there is not enough money in the pot to use HEMS. Maybe when one of them is standing next to a loved ones' grave that their conscience comes back to haunt them,lowest form of life on the planet.

  6. Ben Says:

    Brilliant post indeed. There is a thing in the world called karma. This will, whether we get to see it or know about it or not, come back to haunt them. And they'll deserve everything they get…

  7. Cogito Says:

    If he ever gets caught (long shot, I know), I'd like to see him having to work in a mortuary for a while, observing the effects on the bodies of those who have genuinely died from stabbing or immolation or suicide-by-train, etc. See what a violent and bloody end to a REAL life REALLY looks like in the raw.

    And then put him into Solitary for a week or so to think about it.

  8. Twitter Trackbacks for Nee Naw - Dear Hoaxer [neenaw.co.uk] on Topsy.com Says:

    [...] Nee Naw - Dear Hoaxer http://www.neenaw.co.uk/index.php/ambulances/428/dear-hoaxer – view page – cached You called 999 and told us that your friend had been attacked by a group of ten or more youths. He’d been stabbed, you told the call taker, come quickly. He’s lying unconscious in a pool of blood. You weren’t sure if he was breathing, you said. — From the page [...]

  9. RRD Says:

    I went to a hoax call once – a light aircraft that had crashed in to a pond at night. Everyone and their dog was out there, including polce search and rescue planes, special fire crews including divers, three BASICS docs, the works. I heard that the cost of that operation was over £50,000. Excellent post, and I agree with the other comments – this is the new anti-hoax poster for London. Who in CAC can sort this out? It needs to be done. If you are ok with it, I will speak to FM, the Med Director, and try and get her interested…

  10. SJA_ETA Says:

    This really needs to be put up on billboards around here, people just need to learn just how important the LAS/HEMS really are and are just not there to be buggered around like that!!!!

  11. tomaz Says:

    Should be posted in every phone box. But it's unlikely people like this can read…

  12. SJA_ETA Says:

    It should be everywhere, even at bus stops!!! I hope that one day, when I am out on duty and I get pulled to a hoax call, I actually see the person who done it, get a picture of them and then send it straight to a local nick!

  13. Fee Says:

    I just don't understand what they get from it. Some sort of adrenaline buzz? If so, I could suggest that abseiling with a wonky rope would be a better way to entertain scum like this.

  14. Net Says:

    Sod posters-get some actors and a film crew hired, and make this into a 'hard hitting' ad to show during episodes of whatever the scrotes of today deem as good tv. Although posters in schools/youth clubs etc would be a great idea.

    Top post hun :)

  15. greenandblue Says:

    I remember one of our local hoaxers (we knew it was the same person) who once got out 2 ambulances, an ECP RRV, two fire crews and police claiming there was someone impaled on a fence. Its awful to think of how many resources were wasted on that job.

    Personally I think these people should be shown the work the emergency services do. Maybe that way they'll think twice.

  16. Chris Norton Says:

    A brilliant post about a shocking topic. I can't believe idiots actually still do this. The service you guys deliver is fantastic and for your services to be wasted like this is shocking. This post should be on a poster somewhere as Dan's comment said.

  17. SJA_ETA Says:

    Now that would be even better!!!!! put it out during the hours of 4pm-5pm when those scrotes would be back at home chilling and hopefully, it will drill the message home!

  18. Tom Says:

    One dictionary description of a hoax is 'something done for deception or mockery.'

    I think the post sums up the hoax caller brilliantly, and would not look out of place on a public information film directors desk, as indeed, historically, this type of call is a cruel and devicive 'mockery' and should be addressed as such.

    However, the other hoax call based on deception, when some fool decides to sex up their signs and symptoms in order to get a crew quickly is equally dangerous, and probably far more frequent.

    If anyone has a solution to this I would love to hear it.

  19. Alison Says:

    Reading that really does put what HOAX calls does into prospective doesn’t it… these people really need to understand what they are doing is risking the lives of others. I agree with others this would make some kind of good advert or billboard poster the way you have it worded really comes across as powerful.

  20. dungbeetle Says:

    A possible solution,but improbable one to the great minds, not in the common budget. or common good of the House of Commons.
    1 all publick telephones should be in sight of a cctv camera that can zoom in for a sharp face shot.
    2 all 999 calls should activate the cctv [and its operator maybe, who could hear the call] , the call center, will automatically see the phone booth and can request a zoom or pan for additional information and decision making for additional services.
    As this requires cross responsibilities of differing egos whose toes are too tender, thus will never happen until the next big disaster, that requires the ivory towers to micromanage .
    As the cctv cameras have such limited luck in catching the 8% of the populace in the act of misbehaving , and failure to convince the Law Courts that what they see is not real, just an illusion, the services of helping people in dire need will struggle on until a privileged one gets this experience and then gets his/her/its beseated colleagues to come up with a plan.
    999 call system was installed in the days of slow mail, the only means to get a pigeon to ask for help, it needs updating to implement the 23rd century, if idle youth can now send pixs of their naval why can not the phone send a pic of the caller. publick call phone is not for private consumption.

  21. dungbeetle Says:

    A possible solution,but improbable one to the great minds, not in the common budget. or common good of the House of Commons.
    1 all publick telephones should be in sight of a cctv camera that can zoom in for a sharp face shot.
    2 all 999 calls should activate the cctv [and its operator maybe, who could hear the call] , the call center, will automatically see the phone booth and can request a zoom or pan for additional information and decision making for additional services.
    As this requires cross responsibilities of differing egos whose toes are too tender, thus will never happen until the next big disaster, that requires the ivory towers to micromanage .
    As the cctv cameras have such limited luck in catching the 8% of the populace in the act of misbehaving , and failure to convince the Law Courts that what they see is not real, just an illusion, the services of helping people in dire need will struggle on until a privileged one gets this experience and then gets his/her/its beseated colleagues to come up with a plan.
    999 call system was installed in the days of slow mail, the only means to get a pigeon to ask for help, it needs updating to implement the 23rd century, if idle youth can now send pixs of their naval why can not the phone send a pic of the caller. publick call phone is not for private consumption.

  22. Crystal Says:

    Ouch. Uncomfortable reading, even for someone like me who would never do such a thing. Powerful writing. I agree it would make a wonderful advert.

  23. dungbeetle Says:

    item 2 should be all publick call box 999 calls

  24. Guest Says:

    What a class-A jerkwad.

    Really, this should be made into a TV advert and aired during Big Brother or something else that these brain dead idiots watch.

  25. AmbEMD Says:

    We received a call, stating 'people shot ?how many, lots of blood.' Obviously with thei description we mobilised a fair amount of resources, including Joint police/Ambulance helicopter, one of our Air ambulances, 2 ambulances and an officer.

    1st crew arrives and liases with police, calls up and adv to stand down all resources they will deal with this inccident. when they stand down they advise that pt had a cut to the ear smaller than a paper cut, No guns/ knifes weapons of any sort, but he felt the need to big it up to get a response. ARGH!!! Wasted time and effort

  26. SJA_ETA Says:

    It really needs to be a hard-hitting advert, something that will catch the attention of these brain dead individuals. we will see how much attention has been paid soon enough!!!

  27. SJA_ETA Says:

    Paper cut?????? I think the crew should have had him nicked for wasting ambulance time and also, make him pay the charge for utilising the air ambulance. How much is it for each time it takes off???

  28. AmbEMD Says:

    He was arrested… but to be honest… I dont think it was for wasting ambulance time, or for the cost of the air ambulance, maybe something to do with the wasted police time i guess!!!

  29. C Hawkins Says:

    You're wishing death upon someone? You are most definately a higher being.

  30. Tinker2 Says:

    Very powerful reading Suzi. I agree with the other comments..make it the national advert full page in every paper. I hate hoax calls and time wasters.

  31. Alan Says:

    Scum is the only words to describe these people

  32. SJA_ETA Says:

    Either way, it still put an ambulance out of commission for a real emergency call plus the helicopter. people never learn the facts about real calss

  33. Police Despatcher Says:

    We get our share of these idiots too.

    My colleagues feel we should do them for wasting police time, but I always feel it would be better (if we catch them) just to send them a bill for the wasted resources.

    There are a couple of successes though. SECAMB seem to be more pro-active than us in pursuing prosecutions, and a couple of our regulars have spend time inside for abuse of the 999 system due to their efforts.

  34. AmbEMD Says:

    Oh its good to know they are your regulars too :P

  35. NurseJobsUK Says:

    This post hits the spot, definitely. Funding is low as it is and staff can be overworked and distressed, and hoax calling is undoubtedly one of the most selfish actions a "bored" person can do. I agree with many of the comments above, this could form the base of a highly effective campaign. Well written!

    Nee Naw
    Nee Naw was a blog about life in the London Ambulance Service control room. It was written by Suzi Brent from 2005 to 2010. The blog is no longer being updated, but the archives will remain here.
    Buy My Book!

    Pages
    Latest Tweets

    Recent Comments
     
    April 2014
    M T W T F S S
    « Aug    
     123456
    78910111213
    14151617181920
    21222324252627
    282930  
    Archives
    Meta
    Adverts