“Nee Naw Service, what’s the problem?”
“The vicar’s been stabbed!!”

It sounded like a screwed up episode of Father Ted, but I quickly realised it was no joke.

“He just turned up at my door. He’s got a huge knife sticking out of his chest…” continued the poor parishioner, who had probably been in the middle of watching Eastenders when this hullabaloo occurred.

“DON’T PULL IT OUT!!” I said. I had just been reading a copy of Chat Magazine where a clumsy DIYer had narrowly escaped death after inadvertantly shooting himself with a nail gun and attempting to remove it with a pair of pliers, and know from experience that when people see objects stuck in other people, their first reaction is to pull the object out. This usually does more harm than good.

From the quick run through of the questions, I could see this was Stabbing Proper, just like it is on TV. I take a lot of calls about stabbings, usually in Romford at 2am on a Friday night, and most of them are just a small flesh wound sustained in a scuffle. Those that are serious are usually rung in by someone running away as fast as their legs can carry them, or someone very drunk and abusive, so the amount of close-range help I have been able to give has been limited.

This was different, though. I have to give a firm pat on the back to the caller. In all the time I have been at nee naw control, I have never come across a more co-operative, sensible, quick thinking caller as him. There were a lot of things to be done before the ambulance arrived and he must have grown several extra pairs of hands to be able to do them. First, he did as he was instructed to stop the bleeding — taking off his shirt and wrapping it around the wound, avoiding the knife itself — then he got the vicar down on the floor, raising his legs (to treat for shock) and following the instructions to keep the vicar’s airway open as he was fast losing consciousness. He shouted outside for help, and some neighbours came in, which meant one could hold the shirt on the wound and another could keep his airway open. I asked about the location of the attacker (I wanted to make sure he wasn’t waiting on the doorstep to stab the ambulance crew!) and the caller managed to ascertain that he’d run away, and then went on to ask the vicar various questions about what the man looked like, which was very helpful from a police point of view and something I’d not even thought of as I always handle calls in an ambulancey kind of frame of mind. Unfortunately, the vicar was in no state to give much information, and three minutes into the call, he started to convulse. This, obviously, is not a good sign and I was relieved to look at the log and see that two ambulances, police and the HEMS cars were on way. The FRU pulled up on scene a few seconds later, and my job was done, so I hung up and felt very proud of a) the ambulance service for getting help there so quickly (four minutes from start of call to arrival of FRU) b) myself, for not panicking and remembering to give all the relevant instructions in the right order and mostly c) the caller, because it doesn’t matter what instructions you give or how fast the ambulance gets there, having a caller who has a grip on the situation is the most important factor in those first vital minutes after the incident.

Later I checked up on the vicar and was pleased to hear that he was doing well in hospital, after having surgery to remove the knife.

I went out to the messroom for my break last night, and there on London Tonight was a blurry photo of The Vicar, shots of the street where It happened, and best of all, an interview with the plucky parishioner. I have never been able to put a face to any of my patients before (except the baby whom I helped deliver in the Slug and Lettuce toilets, and she just looked like all babies do) so this was absolutely brilliant. He even mentioned in his interview that he took instructions from me, and I’m even prepared to overlook the fact that he called me the 999 operator as a concession to his bravery.

At time of writing, The Vicar was in a “serious, but stable” condition in his local hospital. Since then, he has gone on to make a good recovery, and a man was arrested and subsequently sectioned under the Mental Health Act in relation to the attack.

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