As the phone pinged in my ear to let me know a call was coming in, the mapping screen centred in on the source of the call. The caller was inside a house, approximately one hundred metres from a well known Accident and Emergency department in North London.
“This had better be good,” I thought to myself.
It wasn’t.
“I’ve ‘urt me arm, riiight!” squawked the caller. “I wanna get it seen ta!”
“Er, okay,” I said. “What exactly happened?”
“Well,” explained the caller, “I stole dis car on Tuesday, riiight, and I was drivin’ it orf, and then I saw duh pigs (Slang for police), riiight, and I fort, f*ck it, and I got out duh car, but I fell, riiight, an’ I landed on me arm, right…”
“Um,” I said. “I, er, see. So, let me get this straight: you want an ambulance to take you to the hospital, which you live two minutes walk away from, for an arm injury you sustained three days ago whilst trying to avoid being arrested by the police?”
“Yeah!!” said the caller. “Thaz right! So send me a f*cking ambulance, riiiight!!!” *click*
Put it this way, an emergency vehicle with blue flashing lights was soon on its way to the address, but it wasn’t an ambulance…
February 10th, 2006 at 10:53 pm
Well done!
February 10th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
love it!
February 11th, 2006 at 3:21 am
Darwin Award. No questions asked.
February 11th, 2006 at 3:22 am
(P. S. Love your new dispatcher icon.)
February 11th, 2006 at 4:20 am
Gold.
February 11th, 2006 at 7:42 am
HAHAHA
Aww if all criminals were so inept we wouldn’t need police. Just jars with the keys to a porsche inside with a hole small enough to fit your hand in, but not big enough to get your fist out.
February 11th, 2006 at 10:46 am
Thanks, quixote. I’m not putting my photo up here, but I wonder if anyone will be able to recognise me from the expression
February 11th, 2006 at 11:25 am
He might soon qualify for a Darwin Award http://www.darwinawards.com/
February 11th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Result, that’ll teach the chav….. and i have to agree with the suggestions of a Darwin Award, he already deserves a Honorary mention.
February 11th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
RIIIIGHT!!!
February 11th, 2006 at 9:50 pm
Presumably he thought he was protected by some kind of confidentiality betweem doctors and patients clause. Eejit.
February 12th, 2006 at 12:52 am
good one. another call form a will anker.
February 12th, 2006 at 9:37 am
Priceless.
February 12th, 2006 at 3:20 pm
He only gets a Darwin if he takes himself out of the gene pool. We can but hope.
We live in hope.
February 13th, 2006 at 11:35 am
yay for amphetamines! crims will tell you all about their heroic derring do and then complain about their minor injuries in in a rapid patter after injecting even half a point!
February 13th, 2006 at 3:39 pm
Hehe, that’s a good’un… Innit!
February 13th, 2006 at 4:04 pm
lol made me laugh, we were shown your site at Uni today, so thought is snoop about. I did wonder however is it not illegal for ambulance folks to disclose info to police about criminals in hiding? I could be wrong, bloke deserved what was comin got what was coming to him in any case.
February 13th, 2006 at 4:08 pm
No, it’s not illegal — in fact, every time we get a call that involves something illegal happening, we have to notify the police, whether the caller requests it or not.
February 13th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
ah ok, that clears that then. I dunno why i assumed that. Just as well i am not a criminal hiding from police or i would have got it all wrong.
good work on building awareness
February 14th, 2006 at 11:37 am
“I’m not putting my photo up here”
Blimey - I thought you had! It looks just like you! hehe
February 15th, 2006 at 9:38 pm
LOL! What a muppet, and serves him right if he gets nicked.
There should be a law that makes people get fined for wasting ambulance services time.
The Driving instructor